Tuesday, January 12, 2010

I Hate Delays

While for most things I really am a patient person, once things are scheduled or arranged I hate to have them rescheduled. Postponing things throws my linear mind out of whack, and so that is why the last 24 hours have been a lesson in keeping my cool.

Apparently, my OB/GYN has a surgery on Friday, and my scan is causing an issue with her schedule. When her nurse called, I had to explain that I couldn't really move it. My job is in a Call Center, and every time this happens I have to juggle the team's lunch breaks and then rearrange coverage on other projects. I know that there are certain things that take precedence over my wanting to have a baby, but I guess I would like some courtesy with certain things.

And apparently whatever is happening isn't an emergency because the nurse told me to keep my appointment at Noon. I'm sorry if I am inconveniencing other people, I know it's incredibly selfish, but when I was given options for my appointment there were late afternoon appointments and the one at Noon. Suddenly there was one available at 9. Which if I had the option to take it back on January 4th when I scheduled this, I would have.

Can you tell my hormones are in the way again? Cause if not...

I have noticed that I am overly emotional about certain topics. Others just make me feel.... I don't know how to describe it. It's not sad. But it isn't happy. Wistful, maybe? Certain stories or images make me get teary eyed and lost in my own thoughts.

And this can be anything triggering this. From writing a thank you note to talking about a friend's sick father. Even remembering D's Golden Retriever, Huck, makes me feel this way.

So, today when my manager asked to reschedule tomorrow's meeting about the move to Thursday because of another meeting that has taken over the morning tomorrow... Well, I went from that wistful feeling to a little peeved in about 5 seconds flat.

She has no more control over things than I do, but at the same time I really want to have this talk happen already. This is really the one thing left to finalize about the move before I can start the other stuff. All the packing and cleaning need to be done, and I know that the outcome of the meeting will set the tone for that.

Normally, waiting isn't a bad thing. I don't mind long lines at the grocery store. Not even the bank or restaurants throw me. I kinda like being there and knowing I will be taken care of in my turn.

But when the stakes are about my future, both as an employee of my current company and as a mother, I don't want to wait right now. I want to get answers, and make plans, and get the ball rolling on things.

Why do I think I am starting to sound like Veruca Salt?

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