Monday, January 31, 2011

Why I LOVE the Colonel's Scale

So, my appointments are pretty routine at the Colonel's office:

Pee in a cup, check blood pressure, hop on the scale, and listen to the heartbeat. A quick chat to check on things, get info from him on what to expect next, and then make the next appointment for 2 weeks out.

My favorite part is the weigh in. And not because I'm not gaining. Far from it.

Their office area for the scale is tight. I am big. So apparently when I stand on the scale, my balance is a little off and has been since day one. While I know my weight based on other appointments with other doctors and the Wii Fit at home, their scale consistently weighs me about 20 lbs lighter.

Last appointment they noticed that the number looked way off, and I had to remind them about their scale. The nurse just laughed and asked if I had lost weight. When I said I didn't think so, she just said to keep doing what I am doing.

Yes, my doctor has never set a weight parameter for me. He has encouraged me to eat healthy, watch my blood sugar, and report issues.

After dieting for 2 months last summer, I don't have a huge appetite at meals. But I do continue to snack every 2 hours, and watch my sugars.

I weighed in on September 20th and at that point I was at 271.4 lbs and had managed to lose roughly 26 lbs on my own in those 2 months. In December, the Endocrinologist weighed me and I came in at 282 lbs exactly 2 months after the week we found out I was pregnant. I'd gained roughly 10 lbs and was still feeling good.

As of this morning I am holding at 291.6 lbs per the Wii Fit. I take that with a grain of salt, but even with that I've only gained another 9 lbs in 7 weeks. A total of 19 lbs since September.

I don't want to say I won't gain any more weight, but I am trying to be careful. We'll know on the 9th of next month how big he is, and then I may need to sit with the Colonel and ask about any changes I should make. I know that most of what I've put on will be gone once the baby is born and everything is gone, but I don't want to make it any harder on myself to lose anything extra that may be put one. Especially since I will be breastfeeding, and I know that dieting while doing that will hurt us both.

Besides, I still have the option of 1 more per our pact before we were married. And if we do that, I plan to start trying once our first is at least 15 months old. With that goal in mind, I know what I need to do in order to try to make that as painless as possible...

Friday, January 28, 2011

The Clothing Dilemma

While I swear that I am not showing, my body is changing.

My only pair of comfortable jeans are still okay, but it will soon be necessary to do something about it.

And if you don't want to know that much about me and my clothing selections at home, you should stop now.

See, I work from home. I shower daily, but I spend my days in pajamas. Roughly two weeks ago, I had to stop with anything other than a nightgown and sports bra. I bundle up with a large loose sweatshirt and my Chewbacca slippers, and after that I am comfortable and don't feel like I am bound.

The biggest issue, to be completely honest, is underwear.

So, next week we will be looking at finding something that will fit other than the one pair that is still loose enough so A doesn't have to do laundry multiple times if we are going out more than once a week.

Today I found a paid of maternity leggings on sale online, and they have now been ordered. My normal wardrobe for work once consisted of loose sweaters, so those will be used. Along with being able to layer the leggings under a skirt or even a dress, I think I may have made the smartest purchase today.

Less than 18 weeks left to go....

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Friendly Tip for Doctors

At the end of the of the exam on Thursday, the pediatric cardiologist who reviewed everything said that if my doctor or I felt the need to do this again we could try in a few weeks when the baby was bigger. I thanked him, but told him I didn't think it'd be necessary.

What I was biting my tongue from saying out loud was that the only way I'd come back is if it was someone else entirely I'd be dealing with.


Well, when the expecting mother refers to the baby as "he", and you inquire about how this is known, the proper response to "we had an amnio" should probably be along the lines of "and everything was fine, right?". There should be no need to question why an amnio was needed if this isn't your patient, and then when told by said patient that it was a combination of being diabetic and 36 the doctor's response should not just be, "Oh, you're old."

Yes, people, that is what he said to me. Then he nodded and went back to talking to the ultrasound tech.

Another reason?

Because after the tech and the doctor both try to get a shot of the heart to review, and finding out that no, the patient's bladder isn't full because no one said that urinating before the exam was not allowed, telling the patient, "It's because you're big..." isn't really the excuse that should be used. Especially when said patient has already had enough ultrasounds, both internal and external, to know that the equipment in this room was the oldest in the building. And not to mention the 20 pictures of the unborn boy in an album at home proving that clear photos are able to be had through the excess "fluff".

You ever get the feeling some doctors should be reminded about manners, especially in hormonal pregnant women, regularly?

Friday, January 21, 2011

Shot Through The Heart....

There is an episode of How I Met Your Mother where they have a limo for New Year's Eve and are hitting multiple parties together. Barney has a mix CD and every time they need a boost of awesomeness he pushes play on the sound system and you hear Bon Jovi start to sing "You Give Love A Bad Name".

When we got down to the car for the appointment yesterday, as soon as the radio kicked in, we heard those first lines and immediately laughed.

Barney's right. That song just brings on the awesome.

And the appointment went well.

Except for my son's total hatred of having people pushing on the walls of his home. Apparently that isn't going to get any easier.

Watching the heart beating, him turning, and then suddenly a cross-section of the four chambers of his heart made my afternoon. He is pretty active, and everything continues to look fine.

Today was a trip to see the Colonel, and he is a happy camper. All of the tests have come back with good results, sugars are where they are supposed to be, and he had us listen to the heartbeat and noted how strong it sounds.

Add to all this that we were given our form to mail in for the hospital, and it looks like things will just keep rolling along.....

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Today's Big Test

When A and I decided to start trying in 2009, my best friend was the only one who made me pause. Her first instinct was to take care of me, and she immediately mentioned that I should make sure to talk to a doctor about my diabetes.

I'd never stopped to think about it being an issue. I mean, you hear about gestational diabetes all the time. Obviously they are able to control things so that the baby is born and does well. But I do remember telling her it should be fine, and I would mention it to my doctor.

Once we received the PCOS diagnosis and met with our first OB/GYN, more of the facts came to light. Primarily that we would not begin any fertility treatment until the diabetes was under control as it could cause issues.

That is when I learned that the difference with coming down with gestational diabetes and starting a pregnancy already diabetic was the timing in the baby's development.

If I wasn't diabetic, I'd probably be getting ready for a glucose test to make sure and see if I'd gone down the path that my mother had when pregnant with my brother. I remember her changing her diet once she was told she did have gestational diabetes, but everything went well and he came into this world and is still here.

But, the thing is, I am diabetic. So I've been spared the glucose test and instead have had an appointment scheduled for later today since the first time we met with the Colonel at the beginning of November.

Today we go in for a fetal echo cardiogram.

When I mentioned the timing of the development above, I meant what my condition could do to my child. I have a higher risk of my baby having heart issues of all kinds, and to be honest it's the only thing I have been afraid of more than losing the baby. These days, medicine would be able to help fix any issues, but still, I didn't want to think that my medical issues could have such a deep impact on the child growing inside me and the rest of that life after birth.

My labs have shown a decline in my A1C. They say to keep it below 6. My test in October, done when I was barely 6 weeks along, showed that my numbers were down to a 5.5 at a point where there weren't any organs yet developed.

In December, my numbers were down to a 4.9, and I've been careful not to change my diet in any way that could change that in a wrong way.

Today I get to see my son again. But this time, they will be focusing on his heart, making sure it's all there, pumping strongly, and looking normal.

I've told A that this is the appointment that will help me get through the next few months. I just want to see him, his heart, and know that the next 19 weeks will be about him growing and not worrying about anything else.

Tuesday, January 18, 2011

Thermostat Wars, Part 3

I know I have mentioned before that my husband and I run at different internal body temperatures.

During the summer, I was wrapped in a Snuggie while he ran the AC and walked around in shorts and a muscle shirt, complaining it wasn't cold enough.

I was bracing myself for Winter. The temperatures were going to be colder than anything I was used to before, and while he'd be content, I'd want central heat.

Boy, was I wrong. And it has nothing to do with pregnancy hormones or anything like that at all!

Our apartment is neatly situated on the 2nd floor of our building. Due to the floor plans, we have an apartment below and above us. We also have one directly to one side, another across the small landing in front of door, and another directly behind us. Only one wall of the apartment is exposed to the actual outdoors, and that's the one that houses the 2 windows in the sun room and the 2 windows in the bedroom.

With this cozy situation, and the fact that the building is roughly 5 years old and well insulated, we have not had to turn on the heat once this Winter. As the apartments around us warm, our place stays cozy.

In fact, the problem we both have is if I cook a meal that requires the oven to be on for more than 30 minutes. The apartment is actually too warm, and if we eat late then the AC is on for about 30-45 minutes to get the temperature to the point where we will be comfortable sleeping.

How do I know this has nothing to do with my pregnancy and internal changes?

Because on these same nights, if we step outdoors, I am wearing 4 layers of clothes, high boots, gloves, hat, and on top of it all a full wool trench coat buttoned to the top.

Apparently location is the key right now, and it's made getting through this season the easiest one for us both.

Who would have believed I'd say that about my first real Winter?

Monday, January 17, 2011

Ah, Hormones and Mood Swings

I think I've mentioned before that I never really had a PMS issue. Even when on the pill, I'd be a little moody, but A never had to deal with complete craziness.

When the Clomid started, the warnings were clear on the bottle and in the literature. This was a hormone and would cause issues. But while I was more emotional, I don't ever remember feeling as if I was going to rip some one's head off or become unglued.

The first half of my pregnancy has seen the usual base side effects. I cry at the strangest things. From reruns of Supernatural and Charmed, to television commercials with babies, to, believe it or not, news stories about world events. The right wording is enough to have me sobbing, and A has learned to just hug me through the bad ones.

Then came yesterday.

I woke up and was laying there in bed with the sense that something wasn't quite right. It wasn't physical, it was a sense that I was just not happy.

From the moment I left the bedroom, I was seriously on a short fuse. Everything seemed to make me want to snap, and I did what I could to keep my mouth closed. We had planned to finish our grocery shopping at Walmart before the Sunday church crowd arrived, which meant getting out the door by 10:30. As A sat at his desk, I drank tea, and became frustrated that he was not getting ready while I finished breakfast, and I snapped at him with a comment.

He calmly asked what he had done, and I apologized and burst into tears. I told him how I had felt at waking, how horrible I felt at being mean to him, and the I really didn't want to be a bitch.

He asked if this was gonna be one of those days, and that suddenly had me laughing.

I was mad, laughing, and still crying all at once.

I am proud to report that the day went well from there, with no more bad episodes and more laughing. This morning there was no sign of the evil bitchiness, and so we are enjoying a good morning.

But I've learned that on those mornings where I get up ready to be that way....well, I'm thinking a long hot shower and maybe a nap. No matter what, A has made me promise that I will come right out and warn him so we can make sure to work together through it all.

I've sworn on my life.

Friday, January 14, 2011


Before leaving CA, A and I were already more or less hermits.

But not in a bad way.

We just preferred to be home together, never did the bar/club thing, and everyone we did know who didn't do those things were parents. They had kids, the youngest being about 5, and so it was hard at times to coordinate time out with them.

The move here hasn't changed our lives too much. It's quieter, we certainly don't get visitors more than twice a month, but for the most part we do what we've always done.

Yesterday was the first time where I stopped and realized that A has been my sounding board for all things pregnancy related. He honestly knows more than I think most men as I read the books to him, share facts daily, and every time there is a twitch from inside he gets a replay.

He is honestly not complaining. He has said from day 1 that he wanted to be a part of all this, and a full part of the baby's life. It was another added reason for our move: the fact that he could be at home while I worked from home, and together we would be there for everything.

One of my company's remote offices has a woman who apparently is about 5 weeks behind me in her pregnancy. She was talking to someone there who mentioned me and how far along I was, and suddenly she was online and we were chatting.

I didn't realize how much I would enjoy sharing this with someone who was going through it at about the same time. We laughed about the strange smells we've noticed, our husbands and their reactions to certain commercials on television because they know our tears will be coming, and the excitement of going through this together.

Today I told A that I had looked through the recreation guide for the valley. There are a couple of infant and parent classes to work on movement, and the earliest the baby is allowed to attend is 3 months. I've decided I need to be social, and this would be a great way to meet other women in the area with children our age.

Who knows. Maybe we'll have play dates!

And my husband, who really does prefer not to meet new people, has promised to be nice and socialize with me. Because, in the end, it's what will be best for our son.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Feeling Surreal

You know, up until yesterday this whole pregnancy thing has been nothing more than the thought that there was a little person growing inside me. You read about the baby being the size of an apple or mango, but I don't think it really sinks in completely.

At least it didn't for me.

Yesterday, after he had his pictures taken, and kicked and moved and made us laugh, the technician smiled. She told us it looked good, but that we had to come back in 4 weeks because he was being stubborn about showing his face, and curled up in a way they couldn't view his spine.

Then she told us that he weighs 1 lb exactly at this point.

I am still trying to process that last part.

I have a 1 lb little person growing inside of me. I know what that weight feels like, and that I think adds to my disbelief that this is really happening and it really is a little person.

I think knowing the weight has made things a little more solid for me. And apparently that makes A smile at me when I mention it every 20 minutes.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

Playing the Name Game

So, we are throwing names around, trying to find a good combination.

We've agreed that we want a strong name, are watching for possible bad nicknames, and would prefer something unique but not different.

Not too difficult, right?

When A and I met online, we were playing World of Warcraft and using characters and their names for the first few weeks we were together. He was Rykar, I was Briar.

Keep that in mind, okay?

While going through a list in an app I downloaded, we found that Ryker was an actual name, and had a definition and everything. While it's not something we would choose for a first name, as a middle name it could work. So it made it's way on to our list of potentials.

At one point, A took the list and sat at his computer to look at more names and review possibilities. He came back and handed me the notepad, and I began to recite the names out loud.

I should explain here that we are doing this out loud thing to get a feel for how it flows. That, and as I have explained to family, I don't kid myself that I will never have to address my son with his full name due to something that was done and shouldn't have been. It's life, and boys will be boys.

As I read the second column, I reached the fourth name down, and read it first to myself. Then aloud....

"William Ryker...Wait a minute, isn't that....? Is that his full name in the show?"

And this is where A began to giggle and said he was wondering if I could catch it.

Yes, people, my husband managed to come up with Captain Pickard's shipmate from Star Trek: The Next Generation while looking for a name for our future son.

The spelling would be off a bit, but other than that it was Will.

And it was also quickly vetoed. This show was a family favorite for A's family, something they would all watch together in the evenings. We knew they would know where it came from, and there was no way to deny we knew it, too.

Which is why, though we're currently still name hunting and not sure when or if we will share the final decision, this one I told his family on Saturday.

And they all laughed.

Monday, January 10, 2011

48 Hours

I'm sitting here typing and noticing the time.

48 hours from now we'll be at our 20 week appointment, watching our son via ultrasound doing his thing.

I can't believe we are almost at the halfway point. That everything is working and that we are healthy and together.

This last weekend, A earned his keep. The bedroom has been redone, with space for a crib and small dresser for baby things. We've cleared our long dresser of things, and all that is left is to move the large mirror to storage. Then it becomes a changing table.

The living room has space for a glider and ottoman to make feeding easy.

And my husband's daily Internet activities now include checking baby sites for name ideas.

The time seems to be flying, but in some ways not quite fast enough.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

On Men and Their Nesting Instinct

When I lived alone, my little apartment proudly featured the things I loved. I did not keep my collectibles hiding in the bedroom. Everything was always proudly out in the living room, and several of the children I was Aunt to loved the freedom to play with my toys.

And I mean toys literally. I had Star Wars figures and Legos. I remember on more than one occasion saying it was okay to play with them, I had saved the instructions and could rebuild at any time.

When A moved in, his collectibles started accumulating as well. For him, it was Transformers and Marvel Comics figures, as well as the additional Star Wars action figures and vehicles as well. We purchased extra book cases, and he set up his things right alongside mine in our living room, and he always allowed them to be handled and played with, same as me.

We moved from that apartment to a house, with my brother as a roommate, and still made room out in the living room for our things. My brother was encouraged to add to this, and it was our way of having a comfortable place where we spent most of our time together.

The move across country brought the added challenge of space for our bookcases. While the apartment has plenty of living space, getting items out has been different. He still has his two bookcases in the living room, loaded with figures, and I have mine with my items as well.

Why all this background information?

Last night I needed to stretch, so we went to run errands and do some walking. One stop was at Toys R Us/Babies R Us, and they had an area with rockers and gliders for people to sit and try.

His comment was that it was too bad we didn't have a rocker. I said I wanted to order a glider from the furniture store we bought our bed at, and explained where I was thinking of placing it in the living room.

When we got home, he sat to play at the computer and then got up and walked around the apartment. Then he took out the tape measure. Started measuring furniture and walls.

Next thing I know, he's moved some pieces around and I suddenly have more room for my glider.

Today, he started looking around again and has devised a way to arrange our movies so that I get more office space in my corner. This will mean that all his Transformers will either be boxed or moved to the shelves in our bedroom.

When he proposed his plan, I honestly asked him to make sure this was what he wanted. And he said that he liked the look of our living room with the movies in place, and that he wanted to make room for things the baby would need.

This weekend, he plans to have the bedroom rearranged so that we've cleared the baby's area. All that will be missing is the crib by the time we are done.

I know you all are tired of hearing this, but he's going to make an amazing father. He's doing all this, making decisions and rearranging, because of his son.

I couldn't be happier these days. And I am so in love with my husband.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

Still Riding High

I have found myself touching my tummy and smiling more than ever since yesterday morning. If that can even be possible for me. I even finally took the box from the closet with the things we had bought in the past for our future baby. All boy things, which I think we were lucky about.

The best part?

Watching my husband start a list of names for his son. This is really real for him now, and I can tell it excited him when he started texting his friends the news. He's been cautious, maybe what I should have been from the beginning, but now that things are clearing he is beaming more.

And kissing and touching my belly.

I think that the clearest sign that he is ready for it all to happen is what he did yesterday afternoon:

Registered at Target for the baby.

I should clarify:

I wanted to get the crib and a few items on the list and then think of the rest. He immediately pointed out diapers, and grooming kits, and a bath, and a changing pad. I remember registering for our wedding and it was nowhere near as interactive as yesterday was.

He is going to be such an amazing daddy!

Monday, January 3, 2011

Best Phone Call EVER

I have to admit that I normally decide on what I am posting as I wake up in the morning. Then I flesh it out in my mind and write.

At this moment I have no idea what I was thinking about when I woke up.

The lab called.

He's healthy. No genetic issues at all.

And it's definitely a boy.

My son. Our son.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go through my phone book to see if there is anyone else I should be calling...