Today's Big Test

When A and I decided to start trying in 2009, my best friend was the only one who made me pause. Her first instinct was to take care of me, and she immediately mentioned that I should make sure to talk to a doctor about my diabetes.

I'd never stopped to think about it being an issue. I mean, you hear about gestational diabetes all the time. Obviously they are able to control things so that the baby is born and does well. But I do remember telling her it should be fine, and I would mention it to my doctor.

Once we received the PCOS diagnosis and met with our first OB/GYN, more of the facts came to light. Primarily that we would not begin any fertility treatment until the diabetes was under control as it could cause issues.

That is when I learned that the difference with coming down with gestational diabetes and starting a pregnancy already diabetic was the timing in the baby's development.

If I wasn't diabetic, I'd probably be getting ready for a glucose test to make sure and see if I'd gone down the path that my mother had when pregnant with my brother. I remember her changing her diet once she was told she did have gestational diabetes, but everything went well and he came into this world and is still here.

But, the thing is, I am diabetic. So I've been spared the glucose test and instead have had an appointment scheduled for later today since the first time we met with the Colonel at the beginning of November.

Today we go in for a fetal echo cardiogram.

When I mentioned the timing of the development above, I meant what my condition could do to my child. I have a higher risk of my baby having heart issues of all kinds, and to be honest it's the only thing I have been afraid of more than losing the baby. These days, medicine would be able to help fix any issues, but still, I didn't want to think that my medical issues could have such a deep impact on the child growing inside me and the rest of that life after birth.

My labs have shown a decline in my A1C. They say to keep it below 6. My test in October, done when I was barely 6 weeks along, showed that my numbers were down to a 5.5 at a point where there weren't any organs yet developed.

In December, my numbers were down to a 4.9, and I've been careful not to change my diet in any way that could change that in a wrong way.

Today I get to see my son again. But this time, they will be focusing on his heart, making sure it's all there, pumping strongly, and looking normal.

I've told A that this is the appointment that will help me get through the next few months. I just want to see him, his heart, and know that the next 19 weeks will be about him growing and not worrying about anything else.