Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Well, the last week really has flown.....

Tell me truthfully: Have you missed me?

I met the man of my dreams and fell instantly in love last Wednesday morning.  He is the perfect boy, with the most amazing grin, and I literally jump when he wakes so I can smell him and snuggle.

Thank goodness he is a snuggler.

Before we get into the details and pictures, I have doctors to see and breast pumping to do.  So, here is something else to go read....

BlogHer has a book club, and I was lucky enough to be included in a recent book review.  Please take a moment to go here and take a look at the latest selection and what my thoughts were on it.  I'll also be writing another for them in June, and I'll make sure to share that link with you too.

I will be back this week to share how my new love came into this world and a couple of pictures.  And then you'll get to here about being a mother and how my husband went from admitting last Tuesday he had never held a baby in his life to being so enamored that he races for the baby when he wakes so he has time with his Little Monster.

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

When Pregnancy Brain Happens

Our doctor's visits have been biweekly affairs since November.

In April, right around 32 weeks, we became weekly visitors.  Then a couple of weeks later, we began a weekly doctor's visit after the Monday BPP and a pit stop on Thursday for a blood pressure, weight, and urine screening.

I know the routine.  The nursing staff is great, they laugh and joke with us each time.  We walk across the hall to use the scale, I wander back to pee in the cup for an analysis, and then sit for a quick blood pressure check.  If we are seeing the Colonel, then A is summoned and we wait in a room.  If that isn't needed, then we chat a bit and leave.

This is the routine.  It has always been the routine.  Nothing changes, and it's so automatic that I don't even sit when we get to the office because I know we'll be moving along quickly.

Which is why last Friday had us all dying of laughter....

After the weight check, I waddled back to use the bathroom.  As I have been doing twice a week for over a month, I grabbed a sterile container from the basket, dropped everything from the waste down, opened the container, and then sat down to collect.

A moment later I was done, bladder was empty, and then I looked at my hands.  The hands that were still holding the container in one and the lid in another.  That had never collected anything.

I tossed them in the trash, composed myself, and washed my hands.  As I stepped out to do the blood pressure check, I told the nurse that we'd have to try that again later.  She asked if I'd missed, and I had to tell her the truth:

My brain blanked out long enough for me to FORGET I was using the bathroom in order to provide a urine sample for analysis.

She was beet red laughing, so was the other office person we see each visit, and then A was let in on the joke.  We all could not stop laughing, and the nurse told me not to worry since everything else looked perfect.

The greatest part was that my blood pressure was the lowest it's been in a while after that laugh.....

Monday, May 23, 2011

Pillow Talk

When I was single, living alone in my apartment, I was a nester.

It was me alone with a queen size bed, and as many pillows as I could get on there.  I still remember when A moved in, and most of the pillows ended up in a pile in the closet.  Since then, we've gotten down to our basic pillows and then some throw pillows for the living room.

Until about 2 weeks ago.

As my size has increased, the pressure on my hips has grown and now requires some interesting placement.  My belly has it's own pillow.  I have 3 just to support me at an angle so I can breathe.  Note, that's not breathe better, just breathe.

Then there is one for between my legs, which in the end is what makes it possible to get up at night without being miserable from the pain.

My husband now watches me get in to bed each night to make sure I get everything settled.  Once that's done, he has to help me cover up with blankets so I don't have to start over.

Bathroom trips have increased, as per the norm at this point, and so this has added to the lack of sleep.  I think I spend more time getting back into bed then I do actually using the bathroom.

I now understand why people use bedpans at a certain stage in their life.

We are in the final stretch.  He's due on June 1st, but every indication is that we will be delivering this week. 

I can't believe this Wednesday will mark 39 weeks....

Sunday, May 15, 2011


I am officially itching for this baby to drop.  Mainly so I can breathe normally and not feel this big.

My weight has me back at what was my heaviest ever.  There will be some loss with the birth, and then with the breastfeeding, but I know in the end it will be me who has to get back to exercising and eating carefully in order to get back to where I managed to be.

The thing that is still oddest to me is the difference in the way my weight is affecting me now.  I am not this big fluffy person, I actually am a solid mass that will take things down with me if I'm not careful.  Not to mention that this is like my own personal space alarm system where if anyone gets too close they are bumped back. 

Last week, after learning baby's weight estimate at this point, we were getting ready to go out to another appointment.  I filled my water bottle to take along, and we headed out to the car.  Half way down the hill, A asked where the water was and I had to admit it was sitting on the counter next to the fridge where I had set it after filling.

He laughed and shook his head.

I told him that if I was going to be as big as an elephant the least that I could get for it was an elephant's memory because these days I forget everything...

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

The Closest Thing To A Birth Plan For Us

So, in the flurry of the last week, we've learned that our little boy isn't as little as most babies on my side of the family.

Current estimates put him at about 8lbs, and his other stats put him in the 95th percentile for growth.

He has a huge head and stomach, and the ultrasounds once again showed us plenty of hair.

The Colonel has had us look at the different complications that come with being diabetic and pregnant, and after being scared by a couple of them, we went in to his office last week and announced that we were in favor of a c-section when the time came.

I never had a birth plan, only that I wanted to do whatever would be best for everyone.  But based on his size, there may not be another safe alternative.  And this way my diabetes will be monitored throughout, and there will be no extra stress on me or the baby if things run over.

At this point, the deal is that we cannot electively request he be born before 39 weeks.  After that date, we can set a date, schedule the surgery, and then go in.  Up until then, if I start to go into labor, I have been instructed to call the hospital immediately and let them know.  If they attempt to tell me to wait until the contractions are closer or anything else, the Colonel said to notify them I am diabetic and need to be monitored immediately per his instructions so that if this is it the c-section may be performed before I get to a point where no one will agree to it.

These are those moments where having A at all the appointments is the best thing ever.  He has the instructions, knows what we need to do, and has told his dad (our ride when all this goes down) what is needed so everyone is on board.

So, without realizing it, we have a birth plan ready to go......

Monday, May 9, 2011

The Day After

This is going to sound weird, but I laid low yesterday.  Covert style.

I received 3 text messages wishing me a Happy Mother's Day.  There was a friend who found me on FaceBook and wished me the same.  I think another posted on my wall.  But I kept quiet.

We are so close to the end of this.  I feel him kicking throughout the day, and it still makes me smile as I wince at the strength of it.

But I can't shake the feeling that anything could go wrong now.  It could all be ripped out right from under us, and so I hid yesterday and enjoyed a quiet day of kicks.  And my husband telling me about a hundred times that everything is okay and to enjoy my Mother's Day.

Next year, when he's almost 1 and making messes, it will be easier.

Right now, I hold my breath for the next BPP and exam.  Another sign he is doing fine, and still getting ready for his grand entrance.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Z is for Zzzzzzz

Of the three members of our household currently sleeping in our bed, I think the cat was the only one who slept enough last night.  And even then it was apparently still a rough night for him.

I know that I was incredibly lucky during the first part of this pregnancy.  Even the exhaustion I was warned about never hit me to the point where I couldn't function.  I napped a couple of times after work, maybe a couple during lunch, and went to bed a little early.  But it passed, and I was sleeping.

That's the key: I was sleeping.

Now, all my body wants is food and sleep.  I can't seem to stop eating, though I am trying to be good, and I still space my intake out every 2 hours.  Last few nights my last snack of the night have been large bowls of Banana Nut Cheerios with milk.  My morning blood sugars are excellent, I've even been able to reduce my overnight insulin needs, but if I don't eat that bowl I feel like I am starving by midnight.

The hunger is something I can control to an extent.

But sleeping at this point it a whole other issue.

First off, even with the proper placement of a bazillion pillows, there is always some part of me that aches.  Whether it's my hips or my ass, something feels like it's being pulled. 

Second of all, overnight bathroom trips are an ordeal as I have to slowly roll myself to a position where I can get upright, then slowly wait for my joints to catch up with my movements.  Then I get to stand in the dark until I have regained balance, only to waddle my way to the bathroom.

Finally, if I sleep too long on one side I end up in even worse shape when it comes time to move.  Even in a king size bed, A is suffering the brunt of my attempts to move and reposition pillows in the dark.  Not to mention that said pillows are taking over more than my half of the bed.

And don't get me started on the lies that come from all the baby books: I feel this little boy move MORE now than at any point in the pregnancy so far.  For someone who doesn't have that much more room left, he manages to kick and thump his way through the majority of the day and night.

What I wouldn't give for a full night of sleep these days.

I've let him know that if I can't get comfortable tonight then I'll be sleeping in the chair in the living room.  It is honestly the only place that I can get comfortable and sleep, even at the oddest times of the day.

And since NOTHING is helping with the swollen feet and ankles it's more important to be comfortable, I think the chair is definitely going to win out.

Less than 4 weeks until the due date....

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

X is for X Chromosone and Y is for Y Chromosone

With the rushing of the last week or so, we've slowed down long enough to talk about what we want for our son.

And it has made me stop and wonder more about what to expect.  He will be a part of both us, something we made together, and it will be interesting to see what he gets from each of us.

Will he have my curly hair?  My husbands straight hair?  Will it be as dark as mine, or stay light like A's?

We both have brown eyes, but his mother's family is are all blond and green/blue eyed.  What are the chances that we'll end up with something other than our trademark brown?

How tall will he be? 

How about the dimples we both manage to have when we are smiling or laughing?

And the cheeks...  A has these cheeks that were apparently irresistible to any passerby at church as he as growing up.  Will those full round cheeks be our son's curse as well? 

There are really so many ways to imagine him.  No matter what, he will be his own person, with just enough of both of us to be able to call him our own.

Monday, May 2, 2011

W is for Weight

For the majority of my pregnancy, my weight was coming along steadily, but not too fast.  In fact, during the 1st half there was barely any gain at all.

But things have changed in the last 3-4 weeks.  Really changed.

Last week was the biggest jump, and add to that my swollen legs, ankles, and feet....well, the Colonel showed some concern but is looking at the whole picture.

My blood pressure is so even it's almost ridiculous.  In fact, I think the numbers are better than they were BEFORE I became pregnant.  And no protein in my urine at all so far.

But still.  He mentioned Preeclampsia last Tuesday, and this set A and I into full Google mode to make sure we completely understood what was happening.  And what options were out there.

We left that appointment on Tuesday with the agreement that after the next BPP on Thursday we would come by again to check weight, urine, and blood pressure as usual.  Any more spikes or abnormalities and we'd be back on Friday to discuss things.

That night as we were lying in bed, A curled up behind me and hugged me.  We talked about things, and both suddenly realized we were seriously going to be parents.  The excitement about bringing our son home, and the move in the middle of April, and now the unpacking and nursery set up....

We hadn't sat down long enough to realize how fast time was flying.  That we were down to the last month. 

That this was really happening.

And could be happening any day now.

Obviously, Thursdays appointment went normal on all fronts.

But we are living appointment to appointment now.  Waiting for the sign that it's really time.