Wednesday, October 28, 2009

My How the Time Flies...

I really don't know what happened to October.

Once the husband stopped working, things seemed to slow and calm, and life just is more....relaxed.

I honestly never realized how stressed I was for him.

Today was day 7 of taking pills to stimulate a cycle. Unlike last month, it looks like this time I may need to actually take all the pills to get this moving. We are still hoping for something next month, but the more time I get to spend enjoying my husband, the less anxious I am about it. I love our time together alone, and rather than stress about what isn't working, I have started to enjoy everything that does work between us.

And people, that is pretty much everything.

Especially now that he does the dishes!!

So now it's just waiting for the weekend and seeing where things will take us next...

Wednesday, October 21, 2009

Back to Starting Line

So today began the first round of drugs. AGAIN. 10 days from now I should be starting my cycle, and then from there more Clomid and another scan.

If this one goes along as it should, then the scan will be on the 13th of November. If there is a follicle and we get to move forward then I get to take a pregnancy test on Thanksgiving.

So many "ifs" in this process.

On the bright side, I have realized something this week:

Laundry done by someone else for you seems to be softer than when you have to do it yourself.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


I officially am the sole supporter of our family and A is now a house husband.

Things at his employer of 3 years reached a point on Monday morning where he just couldn't do it anymore. He went to HR. He asked for a compromise. He asked for help.

And his store said no.

Corporate HR basically told him he could return to work in the circumstances as they were or quit. We talked about it, about the delay to our move plans, about how this would mean no big Christmas, about what his new role would be. And in the end I told him I would always have his back and support his decisions, but it had to be his decision and I was not going to push him one way or another.

Needless to say he is the happiest I have seen in a long time. And my living room is dust free and organized. Today it is being vacuumed and he is cleaning the kitchen.

The best part: I get a relaxed Christmas! His work in retail drains any Christmas spirit from him, so he is already talking about getting the tree up early and being able to enjoy the holidays.

He's applied at a couple of places, but I have promised the pressure is off until after the Holidays. I want him to enjoy it.

That and I won't be cleaning AT ALL for the rest of the year!!

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

What a difference a month makes...

Well, technically there wasn't too much of a difference. Physically. Emotionally it's a vast improvement.

No follicle again. Ovulation tests for 1 week again. Then more drugs and try it again next month.

My normal doctor is off Wednesdays, so today we had another doctor see us. He was rather interesting, and very straight forward. His honesty made things easier to deal with.

Especially his parting words as he shoke my hand again:

You know, people do get pregnant. You just won't have 10 kids.

That last laugh made it easier to come home and get back to work.

And now to start the process again...

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Dancing Through Life....

I'm literally move from 1 item on the calendar to the next these days.

Last Friday I was able to see Wicked with my eldest niece. We never really do anything alone, and it was nice to be able to talk and enjoy a show.

Sunday had me in the ultimate nerd paradise as the husband and I attended Star Wars in Concert. I have pics, and some background on why Star Wars will always be special to us as a couple, but that will be a separate post.

Today I am waiting for tomorrow.

Scan day.

I keep saying out loud that I am not expecting it to happen this month. Better in November, since August is really our month, so the baby would come then. So if there is nothing there it will be fine. It will be better that way.

But my heart is not buying in to this.

So tonight, it's pizza and snuggles, and tomorrow morning I get to face reality.

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


Other than a really long drive home on Sunday (we stopped at every Toys R Us between Reno and home), the week has been slowly moving along. Tomorrow will be my 5th and final day on Clomid. The scan is scheduled for the 14th. And this time it's in the morning and I am working from home.

I almost did take the day off completely. But if there is nothing there, then I will need to keep busy. And technically I am off at 3 because I have to start at 6 that morning.

But that's not the reason behind this post....

One of my closest and bestest friends is now a father. His wife gave birth yesterday to a healthy baby boy.

I am so happy for him in so many ways. But I am so jealous and mad as well....

They decided less than a year ago to start trying. She dropped the pill at Thanksgiving. And was pregnant in time for New Year's.

Every time I look at the info for the baby's stats I want to cry. The tears are happiness that this little life is here, has two loving parents, and a whole future ahead of himself.

But with that comes the overpowering fear that I may never get to have this.

Friday, October 2, 2009

What a difference a month makes....

Last month I was agonizing over taking pills and counting days and wondering when my cycle would begin.

Based on that experience, I looked at the calendar and decided that starting pills last Sunday would mean I would have a cycle starting on or about October 9th if I was lucky. So when I won an overnight stay in Reno through a radio station I booked it for this weekend, so we would get a night away from everyone.

Guess what started today, on day 6 of the Progesterone??

Which means on Sunday I begin round 2 of the Chlomid. And I think I get a scan around the 13th.

Here is hoping Ocotber is a good month....

Thursday, October 1, 2009

It's that time...

October is here, and with it comes a change to the weather.

I have decided that rather than stick to the traditional season names, Fall will now be referred to as Snuggle. And now I will get to explain why...

Have I ever mentioned that my husband runs hot? As in, his average body temp is always above 98.6 and so hot weather is more miserable for him. But when that passes, he is the strange man in t-shirts while everyone else is huddled under layers of sweaters and coats.

I tend to run cold. Now, I don't have any scientific fact to provide like my husband has with his medical records, but I am always cold unless it is at least 80 out. And in the summer, when the AC is on, I am wrapped in blankets.

So this time of the year is Snuggle because it is the start of the only period when we can sleep and watch television while sitting close on the couch. He won't be complaining about how warm it is when I lay my head on his leg, and I will get to absorb some excess heat while sleeping next to him.

That is if I get to get that close.

There is a definite downside to Snuggle, and it results in a sore neck and stiff muscles.

No pervs, it's not that. Whatever you were thinking, stop.

The problem is with our cats.

With the new season coming on so quick (it was in the 90s Sunday, rained Monday morning, and cold ever since), they haven't gotten to thicken out their coats for the cold. This results in the smaller one trying to get under the blankets on the couch, but only there. He doesn't want to be under the blankets in the bed, because apparently it's much nicer to wait for me to fall asleep and curl up close to my abdomen. While his bigger brother squeezes his big butt in between A and I to get warm.

So, now you have to visualize:

I sleep on my left side, in a half-fetal position. Pressed between my stomach and the edge of the bed is a cat trying to get warm. Behind me, on our queen size bed, my husband is normally on this right side, more on his stomach actually, and there is a 3-4 inch strip of bed between us. That Shadow has decided is his, so he slithers in there to sleep.

I'm pinned. Warm, but pinned. And currently still working off the stiff neck.

Welcome to Snuggle!