Finding A Way To Talk

Through all the ups and downs in the last few months, I think I lost touch with a lot of things. Namely, the friends I hold so dearly and who I know would be there to support me no matter what.

Contrary to what people may think because I write this all in a public blog, I don't share my feelings. It has to be seriously bothering me to make me seek out some one's ear, and it was actually one of the few reasons A and I would get mad at one another when he first moved in. He tends to be the same way, and when you have two people bottling up issues it gets bad.

Luckily, we've been able to talk through the few issues in the past. And now we both know that rather than getting mad we need to grab the other person and calmly explain what is going on and talk through it.

Which still works for most things, but everything about infertility and getting pregnant has been hard. He has told me he loses me for days on end, and I don't even realize I am shutting him out that way. I am doing everything I can to move forward and smile, but he knows me and worries.

So last week, when my closest friend offered to fly me North to see her, he didn't blink when I told him I wanted to go and it would be girls only this time. He just hugged me and told me to go be with her. He knows what I need, and right now I need D.

We are both being optimistic about our futures as parents. We aren't giving up.

But we are now relearning to talk about things. Because this time it's not something we can just fix with a quick talk.

But it is something we will have to work through together....