Thursday, September 30, 2010

Another Month Gone

I'm still sitting here wondering whether this is really happening.

When this month started, I was opening a box of ovualtion predictor tests and informing A that he was going to be required to do some work if I ovulated again this month.

The temperature shifted, 3 days later we had the green light on the pee stick that I was ovulating.

I honestly thought we had missed it. We didn't have sex that day. We had been doing that for the last 5 days, and I honestly didn't know whether it was enough.

I didn't wait a full 2 weeks to test. And I had 2 negatives that weekend.

Then the spotting. The faint faint pink.

Then the second line....

I have the home pregnancy test propped up near my monitor still. It hasn't faded or changed. It's completely dried now, and every time I wonder if this is a dream I look at it.

Right now, all we want is a heart beat on the ultrasound. Some confirmation that this really is happening and my body is doing what it should.

That I think is the most frustrating part. The thought that my body will screw this up somehow.

My diet has changed to include more fiber and calcium and vitamins.

Yesterday I was miserable. Nauseated almost all day. Dead tired by the time work ended. I took a 1 hour nap before dinner, and that gave me the energy to be up until 11.

I toss and turn every night. Odd dreams with us and a child, some times a boy and some times a girl.

Which only triggers the thought of fraternal twins....

One more weekend to go and then we'll know what the next step will be...

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