Friday was a wonderful day. We were approved for a line of credit at a local furniture store, so together picked out our new king size bed. It will be delivered this Thursday, giving us time to reorganize and clean up a little.
Saturday there was a light pinkish tint after urinating. My hopes got high, but I realized there was no way this was happening now and that it was the beginning of my cycle coming along and not a sign of implantation. We went and watched Iron Man 2, walked out at the mall, and headed home.
Somewhere in the middle of all that I realized Sunday was Mother's Day. And that's when the depression smacked me upside the head and had me crying.
My husband does what he can when he sees me like this, but I just needed room to breathe and deal with it all.
I wish I could tell you Sunday was better.
But if you haven't noticed the title of this post, take a moment to let it all sink in.
I slept at least 75% of the day away. In between that there was mild cramping and crying.
Some advice: Never watch Father of the Bride I & II when in this condition. I really think A was afraid to touch me by this point.
Today I feel saner. The pink is turning to a dark brown. The cramps are still in the background.
And I am holding my breath, waiting for Cycle Day 1 so we can do this all over again.
I saw a link to your blog on Mel's. So I am here kinda uninvited.
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about this weekend for you, I remember those days and years. I do, when I was scared of myself, when the bed was the only safe place for me so I could cry and sleep at the same time.
I know that it seems it will never get better, it will never end on those days, but I do hope that it does. That this next cycle brings you the dream you wish for.
(your post just spoke to me...I'm so sorry)