The One Where I Cry In Public

Our move drained some finances, and so we are on a budge for the next couple of weeks. That didn't stop us from wanting date night, and so A picked Red Robin's and we were off to dinner.

I have to preface this by saying that we walked after work first. A total of 2 miles (roughly) and then a break before going out. The weather is seriously perfect, there is no smog in the valley, and the walks leave me feeling great.

The drive into town was smooth. We've found a local station that plays classic rock, and we both love it. When they play something that has us roll our eyes we flip to the country station and hope they aren't replaying the same stuff we hear almost every time we tune in.

So, back to dinner....

No wait for a table. I love Roanoke. Back in CA on a Friday night we would have had a 30 minute wait to get burgers. Here, we walk in, get seated, and have ice water about 2 minutes later.

Just after our burgers were delivered, the group in the both directly behind us shared with the waitress that someone was turning 21. They sang their birthday song and everyone applauded.

From where I sat on the aisle I could see a couple enjoying their dinner with a little girl in a high chair. When the singing began, she became so excited and started to clap. After it ended, the mother waved over the waitress and explained that the little girl was turning 2 today. She loved the singing, so could they do the same for her?

Next thing you know, that little one had a sundae cup with vanilla ice cream, whipped cream, and sprinkles. The wait staff came and sang to her, and she screeched with joy.

And I began to cry.

I have more good days than bad. And I can go out and wander at the toy store and not have problems.

But seeing that little girls so overjoyed with the singing and ice cream made me physically hurt inside.

In case I hadn't mentioned it, I love my husband. He let me deal with it, held my hand, and tried to make me smile. He knows I need to just get it out and then I can keep going.

Why can't this be easy? It's supposed to be easy. Get naked, have sex, and get pregnant. When is it going to happen already?!?!?!

I am going to go stretch out on the couch and contemplate that question.

With a pint of Dark Raspberry Chocolate Chunk Ice Cream. Because we have no chaser for the bottle of rum in the kitchen.