200 Posts Later

My blogging began as a direct influence from my cousin. We found each other on MySpace, where her writing had me laughing and cringing for her, depending on the story she was telling. I learned she had a blog outside of the social network, and once discovered I was hooked. My work life suffered as I went and read everything she had ever written.

Then I followed her links and discovered more.

I read Clink, Molly, Dooce, and so many others. And when I say read, I went through their archives and read everything from the beginning.

For the record, Dooce hit me the hardest. Reading everything in 2-3 hour sittings, and crying over everything she went through just drained me. And this is why when she was in the Bay Area for her book tour I went. I sat and listened to her read, had her sign books for me and my cousin, and gushed like a dork about how her writing helped me.

She is really one of my heroes.

Back to me though....

My original vision of the blogging thing was to tell stories about life and being married and my family. I had no clue what was going to happen let alone come out.

Little did I know the curve ball life was going to throw.

I found myself writing about our issues with getting pregnant. I think I have gotten 2 comments total since starting (besides my cousin), and I now follow their writing and am rooting for them every day.

I remember sitting at the computer, crying about not being pregnant, about a chemical pregnancy, about the hormones raging as I took the clomid, and coming away from the writing feeling better.

Internets, this has been the best form of therapy ever. I don't ever expect any recognition for what I write here, but I know I can be honest and open and let it just flow. Something I realize that if I couldn't have done over the last year I think I would have literally lost my mind.

So, 200 posts later I sit here staring at the screen and realize I love this.

Will this become a mommy blog? Will this continue to be all about infertility? Will it turn into a story of adoption?

I really don't know.

But I am looking forward to the journey. To the next 200 posts. To seeing what life does have in store for us.

And for those of you who have read my ramblings, thank you. I promise to try to keep it as honest as possible and let you in on everything.

And someday, hopefully, share pictures of a newborn.