This is too good not to share...

During my daily blog reading I came across this on Dooce's blog, which she found via Kottke. I have now watched it a few dozen times, my husband is a little tired of hearing Kenny Loggins from my headphones, and I plan to sit through many of these musicals over the weekend....



And if you are frustrated by the lack of space on my site, go here and watch it directly!

He Made My Day On His Special Day

My husband's birthday is today. He is not big on birthdays, hates to have people do things for him, and really has always just wanted a quiet evening rather than a big party.

Every year since we've lived together, I've had to work on his birthday. It's just happened to work out that way, and if he wasn't working then he was home alone.

This morning, he came over with the biggest smile and hugged me.

Turns out, all he's wanted for his birthday was to be able to spend it with me relaxing.

Yes, I have to work during the day. But we are here together, and he is apparently having a great day just because of that.....

And it has me grinning too.

I really do love this man.

Happy Birthday, A!

Month 12, Cycle Day 2

Yes, this is the 12th month since we first attempted the Clomid.

Last September began this odd ordeal of hormones and fits of depression when things didn't happen. I honestly expected that it would just come about, and here we are still looking at things.

The up side to all this is that this cycle came with no progesterone. And also that I could see my ovulation happening on the BBT chart.

In case anyone is curious, I went here, registered for free, and entered my data. As soon as the dip and increase in temperature happened, the graph drew the base line, marked my ovulation, and the temperatures continued to match a normal cycle.

Yesterday, I entered the information and noted Day 1 of the cycle. This morning my chart refreshed to show me the new cycle and a blank sheet.

Talk about making it easy.

This month I am adding the ovulation tests in to see if the chemicals are there. If there is no ovulation, but the temperature changes say there is, then it's something I can take to the doctor. The plan is to see him again on the first couple of days of the next cycle to check on the cyst.

And to start the clomid again.

I am planning to continue losing the weight, trying to get as healthy as possible. All the literature says that if you lose a certain percentage of your body weight it can help the hormones. Apparently, it is going in the right direction, so I'm just going to keep trying and hope this is the magic combination.

Wordless Wednesday

5 weeks, 17 lbs, and 1 cycle later

The diet marches forward!

As of yesterday's weigh in, I have lost a total of 17 lbs.

The exercising has been very VERY mild, and the only real change has been to diet. I count each calorie and carb, buy low fat anything, and am starting to look for things that are low sodium as well.

With the weight loss, what the doctor's have been telling me for over a year happened: I was able to see my BBT graph show an obvious ovulation, and I am spotting today. So I am anticipating a cycle to start soon.

Would it have been nice to get pregnant?

Yes! But I am happy with my body regulating itself.

That and the fact that my insulin intake each night before bed is 1/2 the amount it was 3 months ago.

The downside: my sports bra is too big.

I am seriously not joking. It and my denim shorts are loose, with the sports bra the one thing I need to actually replace. I also am proud to report that while on vacation I was able to do something I have never been able to do for myself: buy souvenir t-shirts and wear them! Even after washing!

I have decided to invest in ovulation predictor tests this next month. I want to actually track that along with my temperature, and if not pregnant in 4 weeks go to the doctor with some hope of moving things along.

The only downside right now is timing:

My nieces graduate high school the first weekend in June of next year. We are planning to attend, but if I manage to get preggers in the next 3 months that will be subject to doctor's orders and the safety of flying at that stage of the pregnancy.

So, we're stuck in the middle. One way or another, I will see my family next year. It will be either before giving birth or after.

Time will only tell...

Thermostat Wars, Part 2

Some of you may remember my note about the battle to find a comfortable temperature while inside.

It's still not over.

Actually, it got a little ugly 2 nights ago. He was miserable because he really couldn't remove any more clothing and still be allowed to sit on the furniture. I was being stubborn because I didn't want to be in full winter pajamas in order to not have to be under a blanket all day.

There was some raised voices about the issue. And I wish I could throw our bill for the electricity in his face, but it really is a reasonable amount each month. So really, it's about who is willing to make a change.

And for the sake of the upholstery, it has to be me.

So, I spend my days in pajama pants, socks, bra, t-shirt.....and starting today, my Snuggie.

I really never planned to use it unless it got cold enough over the winter to need more warmth.

Right now, it's in the washer so that I can start using it each day.

And yes, I promise to get a pic of this....

Wordless Wednesday

A Little Askew

So, this last weekend we travelled to Richmond, VA to spend time together. It was 2nd anniversary trip, and honestly we had a great time.

Then I made the mistake of coming home Sunday and doing my weekly weigh-in on Monday like nothing had changed.

Needless to say, we didn't exactly count calories for a few days. There was a lot of walking around town, but that wasn't enough.

So, I've adjusted my goal for next week to make it attainable and we are back to a preplanned menu.

And I am so happy to be doing that.

Mental Note:

When we finally do buy our own home there will be a jacuzzi tub in the master bedroom.

Spending the extra $10 a night for this room just to be able to unwind with those jets was the best decision ever.

Friday Funny

We watch Charmed together everyday. In the current season, Piper is pregnant for the first time. When a demon comes to attack, she moves to blow him up and instead flowers come raining down on him. She stares with her mouth open, puts her hands on her tummy, looks down and says, "Bad baby!"

A: I think Piper is my favorite.

Me: Oh?

A: Yeah. She has your sister's attitude and your smart ass mouth. Whenever we watch her I think of you guys and it just makes me laugh.

Wordless Wednesday: The View From My Desk Right At This Moment

Cylce Day 15

Yesterday, A and I celebrated our 2nd wedding anniversary. We spent the day together, relaxing, playing games, and watching movies.

We really were meant to be together.

Today I completed my weigh in with the Wii Fit Plus program. Total weight loss since July 14th is 15 lbs. I went from 297.9 to 282.9 in 3 weeks of dieting. I still need to ramp up the exercise this week.

And this weekend will be a true test of my new eating habits.

The plan is to go away for 2 nights to Richmond, and that means eating out and keeping track someplace other than home.

Believe it or not, that is the most stressful thing going on right now!

Well, that and trying to decide when to actually take the progesterone. I don't expect my cycle to be normal, but I don't want to rush into another one just to do it.

Decisions, decisions....

Physical

Wednesday I had my first real physical exam since high school.

That means it has been over 2 decades since I just saw a doctor. Not an OB/GYN or any other specialist. Just a doctor who looked me over and asked questions.

I think the last year has ruined me for these normal appointments.

Why?

Because I was thrown by not having to put my feet in the stirrups. I was actually told I could leave my underwear on! Talk about a special treat!!!

The down side was that I had to get a tetanus shot and a pneumonia vaccine all at once. One in each arm.

Sleep has not been fun.

I'm now waiting for results from labs that have nothing to do with my uterus. The doctor was a little surprised that I had never had anything but my hormone levels checked.

So for now the diet continues and we are waiting to see if it is about to get any stricter.

Can you feel the excitement???

200 Posts Later

My blogging began as a direct influence from my cousin. We found each other on MySpace, where her writing had me laughing and cringing for her, depending on the story she was telling. I learned she had a blog outside of the social network, and once discovered I was hooked. My work life suffered as I went and read everything she had ever written.

Then I followed her links and discovered more.

I read Clink, Molly, Dooce, and so many others. And when I say read, I went through their archives and read everything from the beginning.

For the record, Dooce hit me the hardest. Reading everything in 2-3 hour sittings, and crying over everything she went through just drained me. And this is why when she was in the Bay Area for her book tour I went. I sat and listened to her read, had her sign books for me and my cousin, and gushed like a dork about how her writing helped me.

She is really one of my heroes.

Back to me though....

My original vision of the blogging thing was to tell stories about life and being married and my family. I had no clue what was going to happen let alone come out.

Little did I know the curve ball life was going to throw.

I found myself writing about our issues with getting pregnant. I think I have gotten 2 comments total since starting (besides my cousin), and I now follow their writing and am rooting for them every day.

I remember sitting at the computer, crying about not being pregnant, about a chemical pregnancy, about the hormones raging as I took the clomid, and coming away from the writing feeling better.

Internets, this has been the best form of therapy ever. I don't ever expect any recognition for what I write here, but I know I can be honest and open and let it just flow. Something I realize that if I couldn't have done over the last year I think I would have literally lost my mind.

So, 200 posts later I sit here staring at the screen and realize I love this.

Will this become a mommy blog? Will this continue to be all about infertility? Will it turn into a story of adoption?

I really don't know.

But I am looking forward to the journey. To the next 200 posts. To seeing what life does have in store for us.

And for those of you who have read my ramblings, thank you. I promise to try to keep it as honest as possible and let you in on everything.

And someday, hopefully, share pictures of a newborn.