The Middle of Nowhere

Have you ever seen the movie Michael?

This has to be one of my favorite John Travolta movies, and I have had it on the brain lately. I am stuck on the song that one of the characters writes and sings in the movie....

Sittin' by the side of the road in the middle of nowhere
I don't know where I'm goin' but I hope I know it when I get there.

Tomorrow is the scan and I can't help worrying.

I am the most positive person you will ever come to know. When presented with obstacles I normally find a way through them. Even when things look bleak, my husband is frustrated, and there looks to be no immediate relief I am always telling him that things will be okay. We will make it. It will work out.

I am so glad he isn't asking me that today.

The closer to that appoint I get, the more my emotions take over and the tears threaten to fall. I want to believe that we will hear positive news, that things will happen, and we will have a healthy baby of our own right off the start.

And it will happen when the time is right, I know that.

I just want it to be happening now.

A lot rides on this appointment. We will be looking at locking down a move date based on when the pregnancy happens, and I have to look at insurance for us and what will be best in the end. I think all that added pressure is making it worse, and it has me truly expecting to leave the appointment tomorrow, feeling crushed. Told that we have to wait another 4 weeks, at the minimum, as we try another dosage and see if it works for us.

I just want this to work....

And how this story ends, only heaven knows.