As long as you make no sudden movements, everything should be fine...

One of the major advantages to PCOS is lack of monthly visitors. I get no real bloating or cramping, and life is pretty normal.

See, one must ovulate in order to get a cycle, and since my system is so screwed up.... Well, unless I fill a prescription to make my body "cleanse" itself, nothing happens. Which sucks when you look at it from the perspective of wanting a baby.

I like to pride myself as not being a bad PMS type. I do get a little crabby, there are some cravings, but A learned early on that when I seemed a little off to give me my space and not make any sudden movements. We've always talked through any issues we've had, so it was easy to just warn him up front about what was coming.

It's been so long since I was caught off guard, and with my mind set to the fact that I was not going to be ovulating on my own, that when the cheese craving hit I didn't realize it.

All I am going to say is that I never missed cramps or bloating or being uncomfortable. Never ever. But this weekend I had to smile.

Because some time in the last 2 weeks I must have ovulated. And I am crossing my fingers it happens again without the need for a doctor.

One can dream, right?

Hoping this is the final countdown....

Last week's final appointment went spectacularly. Everything looks good on all tests, and my daily numbers are so much better than ever.

But.....

Didn't you know this was coming??

Currently I take 1 injection of insulin each night before bed. During the day I have been taking 1000 mg of Metformin twice a day along with some variation of Glipizide, normally before breakfast and dinner. The Glipizide was maxed out at 15 mg twice a day, and over the last few months I have manage to get that down to 5 mg twice a day instead. I am well on my way to weaning off the drug, and as of today I have been Glipizide free completely for a week. The goal is to keep off that, increase the insulin, and level off the blood sugar readings.

Apparently it is the 1 medication the OB/GYN says is a no-no, and the Endocrinologist agrees.

So the next follow-up is on August 25th with Endocrinology again. If she is comfortable, we move forward. If not, we wait another 6 weeks.

I am so anxious, but then I think of the importance of the health of our children. That is more important, and it's also giving us time to be together and be married. Which we need as well.

So, for now, just watching the food consumption, checking sugars, and working on exercising more regularly. I now proudly am the owner of EA Active for the Wii, and I am planning on starting the 30 day challenge on August 3rd.

Wish me luck!

Is that a light at the end of the tunnel?

It appears that 3 months does pay off: My Glucose A1c is at a 5.9

To get some perspective, it was above 8 when I was first diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes, and in April was at about 6.6 when I first met with the OB/GYN about the PCOS. She told me then it needed to get down to at least a 6. And I met that goal.

With flying colors!!

So, now I get to go meet again with the Endocrinologist on Thursday. After we review my meds and levels she will give her opinion. If she agrees to move forward with things then I will get the prescription for Clomid and see if that works.

It still could be months before we see a positive result on a pregnancy test. But I left that appointment skipping, so happy to see that things are going right. I have a vacation this weekend with my bestest friend ever, and it will be so nice to have the extra positive energy from everything.

So, next stop: Endocrinology

Sometimes I wonder about the cat....

My husband and I have some clearly defined sleeping patterns/rituals.

I get snuggled/spooned and we talk for a bit. As he gets sleepy he rolls over and I follow, curling up behind him and sleeping there. On nights when we both crash at the same time we will awake the next morning to find we have not moved.

From very early on, Shadow has slept on my head.

Take a moment there.

He wraps himself around my head, while I am sleeping, and pretty much limits my movement. I've never understood this, seeing as how his brother heads to the foot of the bed and gets comfortable there. But I got used to it, and A just shrugged it off.

A few months ago he began to sleep on a spare pillow next to my side of the bed. I could gaurantee that if I reached over in the dark I would be able to rub his head or tummy, and he always purred at the extra attention.

Until about 3 weeks ago.

As we climbed in to bed and turn out the lights, Shadow jumped in to bed and stretched out next to me. You have to picture it to get the full meaning:

I am laying on my left side, with A stretch out behind me, and arm draped over my waist under the blankets. Suddenly Shadow is laying with his head on my pillow, his back against me, stretched completely out, and purring.

When we moved into the "sleep" position, rolling on to our right sides, he didn't move. Not even a twitch.

In fact, I think he snuggled in closer to my back and began to purr on more than one night.

It makes me giggle, but I am thinking A is starting to question the cat's motives.

I just don't think Shadow knows he's a cat. And should be curled up with his brother at the foot of the bed.

If this continues I know I will be very warm come winter.....

Why isn't it Friday?

This is going to be a slow weekend, leading to a short work week for me next week.

Then it's off to Seattle and a LONG weekend with D. It's A's first trip up there, and I think it will be the first visit that doesn't revolve around how many episodes of Lost or Sex and the City we can watch in 72 hours.

And now it looks like we are going out to see Daughtry on Friday night....

Amazing how the time is flying. 11 months ago yesterday was my wedding day. Now the countdown to our 1 year anniversary is under way.

How did it all manage to go so fast?

Nightlife

Last night I experienced a first:

I went out on a weeknight to a club and listened to live music.

It was an interesting scene, and something I am not sure if I would jump at to do again. Mainly because I am not a drinker and some strange people are out at night.

The only downside to the whole thing was that my handstamp washed away this morning. I kinda wanted to wear it for a few days like a trophy.

Maybe next time.....

Diet is such an ugly word....

I prefer to see we are eating healthy.

At my known heaviest I weighed in at 325 lbs. Now, I stand 5’2 ½” (they measured me at the doctor last month) but still manage to handle myself pretty well. I’ve never felt heavy, and once was told that I never carried myself as a “fat” person and managed to seem pretty active.

In October of 2006 I fell in love with a dress. My company’s annual holiday party was coming up, and I wanted to wear it. So A did something special and bought it for me.

But even at it’s largest available size it was still a little too snug.

So the eating habits changed, and I lost enough in 6 weeks to feel comfortable in the new dress. I stayed on this course, and by May of 2007 I was down 50lbs, weighing in at 275.

When I went to the doctor in March of this year I was back up to 298. And in late April I had managed to gain another 5lbs.

This was not heading in the right direction.

So after the first round of doctors’ appointments I knew I had to work on this. And so began the reemergence of the healthy eating.

A month after I started all this, A received his labs from his MD and was told he needed to lose weight. He had gained about the same as I had in the last year, and those extra 25lbs needed to go.

Well, they are going.

He is down, though not tracking it like me. His next appointment I plan to write down his weight, and then see how we do between then and the follow-up with his neurologist in late August.

Me?

Well, according to the Wii Fit I’ve lost some weight. The official weigh in on July 3rd put me at 287. Still 12lbs higher than where I was 2 years ago, but it’s coming off steadily, and my clothes are fitting better.

No, neither of us has a target weight. We are doing this to be able to be comfortable and someday play with our children without getting too winded after 5 minutes. He is eating right and exercising on the stationary bike here. I’m eating right and find myself addicted to Step Aerobics on the Wii Fit.

Now to just keep up the hard work and the clean eating. I’m just glad we are doing this together, and getting primed for 9 months of even better eating once the pregnancy thing starts!

While on the subject of doctors....

One of the contingencies my OB/GYN threw in to the whole thing was making sure that A was healthy as well. She told me that if it came to them having to do and IUI or IVF that it would be considered a donation from him, and they have to make sure he is healthy before moving forward.

Which, yes, it would be good to know.

But that required him going to see a doctor as well.

The physical happened in late May. With work being slow he’s gained weight, his cholesterol is high, and with the family history of migraines they wanted him to have that looked at. Oh, and there is apparently some cancer there somewhere as well, so looking at his skin is something that needs to be happening as well.

My beloved went from not going near a physician in as long as I have known him to now officially being treated by not just his MD, but also a neurologist, dermatologist, and almost a urologist. So, an MRI, CT, and 3 blood tests later we know that everything is where it needs to be, nothing is going to break, and he is healthy as an ox. We are both on a lean diet, cutting out red meat in favor of chicken breasts and fish, eating more veggies, and actually reading the fat content on everything we buy.

He still needs to meet his dermatologist in 1 week, but that should be a pretty simple appointment and neither of us is worried.

The things we are willing to do in order to help bring a healthy baby into this world….

Expiration Dates Aren't Always Right....

We have been to more doctors’ appointments in the last 6 weeks than I think in either of our lives.

My Endocrinologist was happy with my last appointment, and promptly told me that the next time she wanted to see me was in July. She also sent me to a podiatrist to have my feet checked.

Let me rewind. I am the typical Pisces, right down to the bad feet problem. This was long before I knew the word “diabetes” and had to remember to think of them. I’ve also suffered from a chronic ingrown toenail for as long as A had known me. I’ve always meant to have it looked at, honest, but I enjoyed not going near a doctor holding sharp objects. But the doctor reminded me that when I did get pregnant the last thing I wanted to do was have to worry about how to contort myself into a position where I could manage my toes.

So I went. And of course there was need to schedule stuff. Both large toes needed help, and I took a day off and let them have at it.

Now, the doctor insisted that there would be no need for pain pills because it would be minor discomfort at most.

Yeah.

I have never actually taken a pain pill before. And I followed the directions for recovery to the letter, resting all day with my feet elevated, napping, and letting A take care of me. Right up until I heard my bladder calling, and that’s when it hurt. Putting weight on my feet hurt so bad I cried. And asked for help.

In October of 2007, A had all 4 wisdom teeth removed and was prescribed Vicodin. Which he didn’t really take, and has been sitting in the cupboard ever since. We checked and the expiration date was May of 2008. I (quite innocently) asked him what would happen by taking an old prescription. He insisted that it may lower the effectiveness, but that would be about it.

The directions on the bottle said to take 1 or 2 as needed for pain every so many hours, and not to exceed a certain amount. I didn’t want to risk 1 not working, so I took 2.

And have never been so high in my life.

Apparently I spent the next 5 hours mumbling, giggling, make odd comments, and zoning out on the couch. I remember none of it. At some point my sister called because my nieces were coming to spend the night. The munchies must have hit because I insisted I needed a Big Mac and fries. When she arrived with them about an hour later they tell me I inhaled everything in less than 5 minutes.

All I remember is sitting up until 2 am watching High School Musical 3 and Twilight. And wanting to sing along to all the songs.

Drugs are bad, m’kay?

My next appointment is just before boarding a plane to Seattle to spend a very long weekend with my best friend. It will be A’s first time to her area, and I think she secretly hopes we decide to move there instead of East. I have promised to keep an open mind about any possibility, but VA is still calling me…..

If everything looks good with my labs next week then project baby commences. I’m crossing my fingers that we are over the only hurdle we’ve had so far and there are no more to come.

Trying to Get Back Home

Somehow 6 months have flown by and I’m not sure where 2009 has gone. Add to that the fact that in just 5 days we will have been married 11 months and it seems like everything has become a blur.

In May we went home. My A was born and raised in VA, in a beautiful valley that he honestly never could wait to run away from. And when he did finally run he came all the way to CA to me.

I’ve been back with him before, met his family and did the tourist thing for 5 days a couple of years ago. I told him then that I could grow old there, among the green mountainside, where things always seem to move slower. It was just so easy to see it as a place to unwind and still have a life.

I was born and raised in Silicon Valley. And I have always said I wanted to raise children someplace where they could play outside, have a yard with grass, and not have to worry about some of the things a big city environment brings with it. So when I said I could see being there he shook his head at me and said he had run from there for a reason.

But this last May it was different.

We went back to see if this really was something we could do. Something that we could both want.

And it is.

So now we are working towards that. We have a ridiculous budget that I am bound and determined to stick to. The numbers need to be crunched, bills paid, and then arrangements made. But at this point we will be tucked in to a new home by next May. In time to get acclimated before I get to see my first real Fall and Winter and spend the holidays with people who have accepted me in to their lives as a daughter and granddaughter.

While this year has seemed to fly so quickly, the next 10 months will have me holding my breath. So many things I want to make sure to do while here, things to clean and start packing, and discarding of things that make no sense to keep.

So, now the next great adventure gets to begin…..