The One Where Someone Almost Cries

Over the last week, James has begun to indicate who he wants to have hold him.  He will nudge or lean towards his chosen target, and has slowly started lifting his arms and kicking his feet when asked if he wants to go up with you hands extended towards him.

It's seriously one of the cutest things I think either of us have ever seen.

Wednesday we reported to the hospital bright and early to begin prepping for surgery.  We sat with him, playing and talking, waiting as he was weighed and measured.  He was happy, talking his baby talk with us, charming the nurses, and basically being the ham we know he is.

The last person to come in was the anesthesiologist who was taking him to the OR to start the procedure.  We both knew it was minor, he'd be fine, but when he said it was time, I felt the tears.  I said this was the hardest part, and he smiled at me and said he understood.

James was with his daddy, and I went to take him to get a last hug and kiss in.  But he didn't want me.  He was clinging to A and snuggled in to him.  So we did a group hug, and A handed him over as we all walked out of the room.  We looked back to see his little face looking at us over the shoulder of the anesthesiologist, and I looked up at A, still biting back tears.

To see his face, red, sad, and trying so hard not to cry.

And we took each other's hands as we walked out to wait for our son's cleft lip procedure to be completed...

This is What Makes Him a Good Daddy

Last night, we sat and went through the initial paperwork to review what will be happening to our son on Wednesday.

There wasn't much to it, just an overview, and we each read over it quietly in under 10 minutes.

A little while later, we went to bed, and assumed our snuggling positions....

A: I just want to go snuggle with our little guy.

Me:  He is a cutie, especially when he's asleep.  But why the sudden urge to snuggle with him?

A: I read the paperwork.  Up until then, I knew they would be doing something, but it didn't hit me....

Me: ...and now the reality that our son is having surgery has hit you?

A: Yeah.


No, we didn't get him out of bed and snuggle him with us.  But I noticed this morning that our little one is getting a little more attention than normal.  His daddy loves him, and is honestly feeling that hint of worry.

Which means I can't blame my hormones.

48 hours to go....

Wait, what day is it? What happened to October?

I just realized that we are 10 days from Halloween.

That means 25 days until my sister and nieces arrive.

But also only 5 days from James' surgery.  On Wednesday my baby is having his lip surgically corrected to remove the cleft.

His first plastic surgery encounter!

The doctor yesterday reminded us that it could be a year before it is completely healed and looking "normal".  It may require touch-up, and even as an adult he may want more done.

It also won't completely correct his crooked little nose.

I can tell you that I don't see his imperfections.  I just see a happy boy who loves to be loved.

On another front, we stopped at The Colonel's office to say hi yesterday.  I "borrowed" their scale.  James is roughly 17 pounds at this point.  Which would explain why getting up from a sitting position on our couch is a workout on my thights.

I also found that I am stuck at 290 lbs, 18 lbs heavier than I was at the beginning of my pregnancy.  I'd like to get back on track drop to at least that, though the goal is 20 lbs for now.  Then see what the next step is.

Looks like we'll be cutting out pasta and rice again.  And soon.

Very very soon.

Wordless Wednesday: He's Definitely a Morning Person

Before the Moment Passes....

This morning turned into one of those that I wish I could capture forever - the light, the sounds, and the feelings.  It will be in my heart forever, but I'm afraid I'll miss something....

James was up early again, so he came to bed with me.  I was hoping for another 90 minutes of sleep.  He laid there and made noises and looked around.  I peeked through my eyes - which I closed in hopes of his doing the same - and saw that he was staring at me and smiling.

Then I felt his hand on my cheek.

His grin grew as he touched my face and then giggled.

When I opened my eyes to see him, he smiled and then picked up his pacifier....

And tried to put it in my mouth.

I love this kid.

Wordless Wednesday: Holding His Own

When Regression Isn't Really Regression

I've read so many mommy blogs talk about sleep regression and how it's normal at 4 months.  I was prepared, warned A about this, and kept hoping we'd avoid it.

I do want to remind you all that at his worst, James slept 6 hours at a time at night.  If that was going to be his new routine again, it wouldn't be too bad.  But I knew he wouldn't be hungry, he eats more than enough each day, and with the addition of solids he is a happy guy.

So, the day after he turned four months old, he awoke at 5 am.  I tried to just give him his pacifier, but after 20 minutes of fussing I was starting to cave.  I don't like him not being able to get comfortable, I admit to being a wuss on that, so I did the only thing that I could think of at that hour:

I took him back to bed with me.

We snuggled in, and he was out for 2 more hours before waking me up with giggles.

My son giggles when he wakes up.  No crying.  All giggles.

This happened for the next 3 nights.  And I was afraid it would be the norm.

Now, if you recall, my husband runs warm.  Summer is miserable for him.  And so far the baby has shown those same characteristics.

What's interesting in the Winter is that while he'll be warm all day, by morning my husband is ice cold and huddle under 2 blankets to stay warm and sleep comfortably.

All summer, James has slept most nights in a onesie.  As he grew and began to fit in footie pajamas, that became the new norm and there has been no need for blankets.

But last week, Fall began here.  The weather is changing, and his room, always warmer in the summer, is now colder than any other room.

So after 4 mornings of sharing the bed with the little monster, I realized he was beginning to doze as soon as I wrapped my blankets around him and snuggled him close.  That little light bulb went off and it suddenly dawned on me that his footie pajamas were no longer enough.

That night, he was laid in his crib, and a blanket placed over him to help keep in the heat.

And he slept 12 hours.  And has almost every night since.

So, for my son, sleep regression wasn't really sleep regression.  The temperature is changing, his ability to regulate his own temperature is changing, and he just needed the extra help.  We are back to full nights of sleep, though smaller naps during the day, and he is a happy clam.

I do admit to missing my morning giggle.  That smile with it's dimple is really the greatest thing to wake up to....