The Amnio

I went into that exam room yesterday without any real fear.

Is that odd? People have been telling me that the needle was huge and scary. That it hurt to feel it going in.

I mean, you name it, I heard it.

But the second the ultrasound came on, and I saw that little head and hands, and then heard that heart beating....

The world always seem so perfect and serene at that moment, and I couldn't wipe the stupid smile off my face if I wanted to.

Before the test, A and I had agreed that he was not going to be able to handle watching. He was there for support, to hold my hand and make sure I was okay.

The thing is, we both missed it.

He sat in a chair watching the baby moving and talking with us. The ultrasound tech was there on my right talking and pointing things out on the monitor there. The nurse was at my feet, handing the doctor on my left things. But neither of us ever saw the needle.

Maybe it's the insulin I have to inject. Maybe it really is that I have no real aversion to injections. All I know is that it felt like one of my injections. There was a slight pinch that coincided with what I was seeing on the screen. Then the baby swatting at the intrusion.

And then it was over.

Before the amnio, the baby's heart rate was a steady and strong 140 before the exam. Right after it had risen to 153, but was slowing as we watched.

My little trooper.

And yes, we told the ultrasound tech that we wanted to know the sex. I was exactly 17 weeks, and she warned it might be too early. But she did what she could.

The baby was sleeping like a bunny: tummy down, but up in the air. Which would have been perfect if it wasn't for the umbilical cord that was apparently blocking the view.

Next think I know she is bouncing the wand on my stomach, pushing to make the baby bounce, attempting to clear the way.

And she thinks she managed to clear it all, and what was left had to be only one thing.

My son's anatomy.

We've been warned that until the lab results come back next week that it isn't 100%. I have the picture of what she saw, and the more I look the more I am convinced she is right.

We've both been saying "he" for months. And it feels natural to say it out loud.

But until next week's call, we are still just hoping everything is okay.

And that I can start shopping for blue things.