Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Maybe It's All the Pink This Month

I am proud of the fact that when asked about family medical history I can normally say that other than some diabetes we are all pretty damn healthy.

It's kinda nice.

This month is best know for Halloween, but a close second is that it's Breast Cancer Awareness Month.  We are doing our little part here by saving all of the pink yogurt lids from James' daily snack to mail in.  It's not a whole lot, but it's something, and everybody can do a little something.

My favorite this month has been seeing football players, coaches, and referees with the pink on the field.  It's everywhere, and it's a sign that people are aware of breast cancer and that it's a very real problem.

Due to The Colonel being out on medical leave, my annual exam for all things womanly was pushed from August to September.  Then jury duty happened, and the next available appointment was for today. 

Side note: If it really is this nuts to get an appointment then I start to think that being an OB-GYN might be a great career choice.  It really is just nuts, people!

I have to share something that I think I wrote about before.  I'm not sure, and it may be TMI, but it made me laugh this morning.

At one of my first exams, back in my teens, the doctor said I should know that I have a long birth canal.  This is relevant because a normal speculum isn't that long.  In order to see my cervix, a normal speculum has to be inserted upside down, which means I get pinched by those handles.  I don't need to explain in detail how much it HURTS to have a hair in that area get stuck and pulled, right?

So, every since then, I have made it a point to tell my doctors that I need the large ones.  Did you know that they make them in large?  The duck bill part that is inserted is longer, and it makes life better for everyone involved.

Today's appointment was with another doctor who saw me while The Colonel was on vacation towards the end of my pregnancy.  She had literally just touched me with the cool metal when I jumped and yelled wait.

For the record, no good to scare the doctor and nurse at that moment.  I thought she'd dropped things when she shot her hands up in the air and looked at the nurse to make sure she saw that I wasn't being harmed.

Once I explained, a large speculum was warmed, the exam went on, I was allowed to get into my clothes, and then run out to pee because she had pressed a little hard at some point.

Before all that happened, there was the breast exam.

Which resulted in my having to schedule a mammogram for next Tuesday.

Due to a small lump she felt on the lower right quadrant of my right breast.

My husband says fatty tissue.  My best friend says probably a small cyst.  My mom is lighting a candle for me.

Am I worried?

Not really.  Not today.  Ask me again after next Tuesday and I may tell you that the tension headache went away as soon as the examine was done.

That's what I am focusing on.  That after the exam is done I'll come back here and write to you about the excruciating details of my first mammogram and then tell you there was nothing to report.

Just keep telling me that that's what will happen, okay?

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