Monday, March 30, 2009


I have managed to not get too addicted on soapy dramas. My main television show favorites stick to forensic investigation or superheroes or even the supernatural. But I do admit to liking me some time watching Grey's Anatomy. I will even admit to a mild addiction.

Yes, last season blew some serious chunks. I can proudly say I didn't watch 99% of the episodes. Thanks to I was able to read the recaps and know what was happening. Which still made me decide the show had gone incredibly wrong somewhere.

This season I was tentative at first. Only since Christmas have I begun to watch again. Mainly when I learned that McDreamy was going to propose. And last Thursday I was able to watch the moment finally happen.

It made me miss A even more. The set up of the proposal was so wonderful and it was just the way it needed to be for them. There was no question about it, and you could see in her eyes that she knew this too.

And that got me thinking to last May....

I had known A had the ring for a week. He had told me it was at the house somewhere, and he was just waiting for the right time to do everything. Since Fridays are our "date" nights, I have to admit I was waiting for it.

We started out eating at Yankee Pier and enjoying some nummy seafood. From there it was off to Barnes and Noble for some browsing and shopping. We both love our books, and they also carry comics, which makes it even better for us there. Once inside we could see the slices of cheesecake that their Starbuck's shop sells. They are brough in from the Cheesecake Factory at the mall nearby, so we went from browsing books to having dessert. Then some walking at the mall to let things settle and look around some more. We stopped once more on the way home for some fun at Target before admitting to being tired.

All this kept us out from about 4:30 until after 9 that night. There was no rushing. I know I was anxious for things to happen, but I was enjoying our time doing what we love to do together: wandering. When we were finally on our way home, I will admit there was a small part of me that decided it wasn't happening yet and had resolved itself to another week of waiting. But I still remember driving home with a smile.

We walked in and recapped our night to our roommate and then went to our room to change out of jeans and tennis shoes and into comfy house clothes. I was beat and stretched out on my side of the bed, just relaxing for a minute while A changed and put things away in the closet.

Then A stretched out next to me and started rubbing my back. I remember turning my head towards him and smiling. Then he turned on his side, facing me on my tummy and told me to roll over. He told me to kiss him, which I did. Then he told me to hug him, which I did. Then he looked at me with those brown eyes and calmly said, "Now marry me." And very casually placed a small box between us on the bed.

I've shared this story before, and from guy friends get the comment about how smooth he was. A doesn't think it was smooth, but he was going for the surprise and he got the reaction he was hoping for. And I am always going to remind people planning to propose that they need to just make it simple and sweet.

And perfect.

Friday, March 27, 2009


Yesterday afternoon my doctor's office reached out to let me know the result of the 2nd blood draw and labs I had done on Thursday. I have been officially diagnosed with Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) and have been advised to see an OB/GYN as soon as possible to begin treatment.

I've already got the appointment scheduled on the 10th of April. I need to be prepared for the possibility of having an ultrasound to check for cysts and a long discussion about my cycle and its history.

I did my reading on WebMD and am actually optimistic. It's not the end of the world, we still will be parents someday, and we have already discussed the possibility of multiples. A is so very loving and encouraging about all this, so any fears I may have had are actually almost all gone.

This also plays in to my need of organizing and scheduling. We'll know when conceptions happens, will be able to plan out everything, and also watch my diabetes and meds with the help of skilled doctors who know what we are getting in to before it all starts.

Right now the important thing is that we are still looking forward to our future. And having a family together.

Monday, March 23, 2009

This week I am traveling for work. It's the first time I have flown in almost 3 years.

And the first time I am apart from Andrew since he moved here in August of 2005.

It's odd to be saying goodbye to him at the airport. Even odder to be traveling without him. At lease I know he is home waiting, and thanks to the internet we can chat at any time during the day. Well, once he wakes up that is.

I remembered to have my camera with me on the plane and managed to take a few shots from the window. It's amazing how quiet and calm the world looks at 10,000 feet. Of course I sat on the wrong side of the plane to catch an amazing sunset from the air, but I will have time for that on the return trip and also on the 2 other trips we have planned this year.

On another random note, I did schedule an appointment with an OB/GYN who deals with fertility. The first available date is the 13th of April, and that seems to be too far away for me. The only positive thing out of all this has been that A has been amazing. He didn't realize he was making me feel so good by picking out baby names when we went out on Thursday. He is making lists and choosing names and all I can do is sit there and smile.

I love that man.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Trying to roll with the punches...

I hate waiting.

And this week is apparently all about the waiting.

The doctor and I had a good talk this morning.

I was diagnosed with Type 2 Diabetes in September of 2007. In the last 18 months we’ve managed to control it with diet changes and medication. No insulin needed, and for the most part it isn’t a huge issue for me. I remember what to eat, watch certain things, and remember that moderation is the key.

Today was no different than any other visit with the exception that I brought up our wanting to start a family. And my obvious lack of ovulation according to the test strips I have been peeing on for the last 4 weeks.

Which resulted in 4 vials of blood being taken and a referral to an OB/GYN that I have to follow-up with tomorrow and make an appointment.

Where I will get to discuss fertility and my possible lack of being able to ovulate without the help of drugs.

I don’t know whether to laugh or cry about this whole thing. I think she saw my face and realized I was about to cry in the office because she quickly tried to calm me down. And all I want is my kitty, my bed, and some mint chocolate chip ice cream with a side of thin mint Girl Scout cookies.

A has been calling me regularly at work to check on me and remind me to stay away from Web MD and other sites. Reading about the issues will not make it better, but it helps my logical side to process what she told me.

With me traveling next week for work the earliest I will be able to schedule any appointment will be March 30th.

Now to just not think about it all for 11 days…..

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

35 and counting...

This last Saturday I officially turned 35. And I can honestly say I don't feel old.

Compared to last year, this year was a quiet weekend spent with my bestest friend. She made the trip down to get some sunshine (not enough...she needs a refund) and just spend time. It was exactly what I wanted.

Add to it the fact that she is amazing in the kitchen and I was spoiled. Potstickers for dinner one night and then she made these the next day:

Her chocolate peanut butter bombs are amazing. And everything is from scratch, right down to the peanut butter frosting and chocolate ganache. We had some visitors stop by that evening and everyone seemed to be in heaven. Seriously, how could you not be?

Other than that there has been nothing going on. I'm still testing to see when I ovulate, but so far nothing. I have a doctor's appointment on Thursday, and hopefully I can get some answers about things then.

Until then, not much to report.

Except that chocolate peanut butter bombs are just as good for breakfast as they are for dessert...

Wednesday, March 4, 2009


I have spent the last few weeks itching to take a pregnancy test daily.

Instead I am taking daily ovulation tests to see when the best time of the month will be to conceive. And every day that the test says "nope, not today" I am left sighing and wishing we started trying sooner.

The thing is that I enjoy having some control over when things will happen and what we are doing. This one is totally not in a category I have a ton of control over and that is making me batty.

I do have a doctor's appointment on the 18th scheduled. I will be having a talk with my OB/GYN and finding out what we should be looking for. We're already eating better, and since neither of us smokes at all or drinks alcohol outside of social situations we are ahead of the game there.


Patience is a bitch.