Tuesday, September 14, 2010

"If" versus "When"

Welcome to Cycle Day 21. Today, I am either 8 days post ovulation or 5 days past ovulation. Depends on which method of testing for ovulation you think is the most accurate.

I am officially in a place of trying to figure out how to phrase things.

My thoughts swing from "if we are pregnant this time" to "when we finally do get pregnant" every other minute. I am trying everything I can to not think about it, to let it happen, to enjoy this time.

But I can't.

Especially with the phantom cramps that twinge late in the day. And this strange urge for steak and spicy food. From someone who is afraid to try buffalo wings, this is huge. As in I ate 5 of them last night.

I just want the next 9 days to fly by. I will either be starting a new cycle or making a call to have blood work confirmed.

I really really want to have to have bloodwork done. Odd, yes, but to me that means a small victory....

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