Monday, July 8, 2013

3 Minutes of Honest Reflection

The day we picked up the keys to our new place in February I learned that my closest friend in CA was expecting her 2nd child.

I believe my exact words were "I am so jealous of you right now."

The husband was not thrilled.

Fast forward 3 weeks and we were in the middle of a pregnancy watch.  Which was never really a pregnancy watch, just the stress of the move and irregular pill taking, and eating bad food.

I remember the sadness over not having gotten that positive test result.  While it's not what we both wanted at that moment, I just had hoped that maybe it would happen.

Last month I had a surge in appetite and extreme sleepiness.  My niece asked if I was pregnant or something, so we bought the home test and I peed on the stick.

We couldn't tell if it was in imperfection in the plastic or a faint line, so I called the doctor, had blood drawn, and eventually confirmed another negative.

This time, the result didn't depress me.  James is at a point where we see potty training as a possibility.  We have 2 incomes and are comfortable for a change.  We have a plan!

I think I've mentioned this all before.

Since there was still no cycle this week, I picked up a test on Saturday just to make sure.

That was the longest 3 minutes of my life.

I've gone from wishing we could have at least one more to hoping that our family of 3 stays like that.

Everything I need is here.  Everything I want I have.

That negative result made me so happy that I think I was dancing the rest of the day without realizing it.

No comments:

Post a Comment